|About the Book|
The first ebook to ever sell out is finally back in stock!!!So youve finally finished that novel. You edited it using the spell checker in Microsoft Word, and you paid your six-year-old niece five dollars to design a cover in Paint. Congratulations.MoreThe first ebook to ever sell out is finally back in stock!!!So youve finally finished that novel. You edited it using the spell checker in Microsoft Word, and you paid your six-year-old niece five dollars to design a cover in Paint. Congratulations. Now youre ready to publish it to the Kindle Store and begin raking in those scathing reviews.Or are you?Chances are that despite your best efforts, that book in your hands is still only mediocre. How are you expected to compete with the thousands of inexpertly written books published ahead of your own? Sure, mediocre is good, but terrible would be better.Im Dr. Elmore Rounbottom. With the rising popularity of ebooks I have observed a growing number of authors looking to hastily publish the lowest quality fiction they are capable of. And while there are many instructional guides on how to improve the quality of your writing, the singular Google search I performed couldnt find one book devoted to the intricate art of writing more badly.So for the past hour and a half Ive devoted my powerful doctor brain to analyzing exactly what steps you can take to ensure your book is excruciating to read. The tips in this book have been almost nearly scientifically proven to take your book from a barely passable piece of fiction to the worst bit of literature in the history of the English language.Topics of discussion include:What is a Plot and Why Dont I Need One?Cutting Characters Out of CardboardJust How Excessively Should I Use Adverbs?The Limitless Power of Exclamation Points!!!And many more.By following the simple steps outlined in this book youll soon be crafting prose capable of gagging a Vogon. Those one star reviews dont write themselves, you know.Please note: There are actually 8 tips in this book, but since the cover was already done I couldnt change the title without paying my six-year-old niece another five dollars.Praise for Write More Badly:This is the best book Ive ever read. - Someone whos never read another book.I was up all night reading this book. - An insomniacThis book should be made into a movie. - A person with poor taste in moviesThis book is better than the Bible. - An atheistThere was nothing in this book that I dont already know. - Someone who writes badlyEven my family and friends gave my book a one-star review! - Someone who actually applied the tips in this book.And be sure to download the audio version narrated by Mike Tyson!